I tell people I avoid R-rated movies as a matter of Christian principle

Translation: --are you serious?

Now, heavy use of "strong language" is sloppy I'm-making-three-cents-a-word writing; "graphic nudity" implies poor plot-management; "drug use" is, like, whatever--move on; and "...partying, all involving teens," while not prominent in R-rated movies, can be problematic.

So, to the point: I was wandering around The Real Critical Press which is Amazon, and convinced myself that viewing Hump Day would not be the worst thing I could do before turning 40. Some guy had written an impassioned comment how he had been hurt by how the film made him feel marginalized and ridiculous, which considering this effect can oftentimes be achieved for free is something to think about. But this woman was like, "I think it's more a commentary on Male Institutionalized Heterotardedness more than an opportunity to abuse gay people."

I hired myself as tie-breaker. Frankly, I thought the entire point of the movie was a comment on how professional-coolness is a full-time job that precludes actual results, but what do I know? Had I made the film, I would have put half the total-hedonism in the Dionysus scene, discarded the rest, made better choices of placement with The Profanity (basically the same word used like free duct tape and Avon's Skin-So-Soft on the dialog), and wait for my Oscar, or GLAMA-thing, or whatever.

Seriously, Marginalized and Ridiculous Guy: two professing heterosexuals chest-thumping their way into making an "art" film, then spending the rest of the plot backing out while facing forward while wearing a neutral expression so as to not betray their squareness is not the same as "Gay Is Okay." I think you'll find that's what unlimited access to high-speed Internet is for. THE ENTIRE POINT was to illustrate how whims affect real people: do you remember the wife? Do you remember Cool Hand Idiot admitting he had never finished an art project? And if you thought the hotel scene was awkward--you and everyone else. It's all good.

Yes, it would be nice if the world were just one giant book of Gender Sudoku.

I need you to join me in basking in the crushing profundity of "Gender Sudoku." I should be paid for this.

MEANWHILE, what we got was men who are completely against "gay rights," but want a servant class of women to entertain them (of course, letting the man "finish them off"); what we got was the classic NIMBY-response of "I'm tolerant homosexuals--unless you're my kid"; what we got was people too busy being "open-minded" they can't think; what we got was....

I'm sorry. People are messy, inconsistent, and rather stupid. In that, we're all alike. So now, let's stop expecting more from other people than we expect from ourselves, or even a completely-separate standard of behavior. Two straight guys are going to be reluctant to have sex with each other, especially (and I hope!) when one is already married. Hump Day wasn't billed as a comedy, but duh. Don't take it personally, because I promise they weren't thinking about you.